No One Told Me About Teenagers

 No one tells you 

Your heart is both the strongest and the most fragile it has ever been. It will shatter and mend, shatter and mend, over and over. 

No one tells you

All those tears you catch when your babies are small? You absorb them. They stick with you for a time. You'll release them gradually over the years. Sometimes it feels like all at once.

No one tells you

It can feel so isolating, parenting teens. 

When they're little, you share so much with other parents. You laugh about diaper blowouts, commiserate over parking lot tantrums and even shed a few tears together on the first day of school. 

As teenagers, their experiences are not necessarily yours to share or laugh about or commiserate. They are still yours to cry over, but silently. Alone. 

No one tells you

You feel what they feel. Your heart hurts when they hurt. 

No one tells you

You'll have to go back to high school. No one tells you it might be harder to survive the second time around.

No one tells you

Your favorite memories of your parents from your own teen years? That road trip or that private joke you shared? When you couldn't believe they were telling you that one story? Those are their favorite memories, too. Those moments mean just as much to them as they do to you. Probably more. 

No one tells you

Wisdom is useless until it's not. Talking about your mistakes will not prevent your kid from making the same choices. Some things have to be felt to be understood. Sharing that understanding after they learn for themselves? There's magic in that. 

No one tells you

You won't know what you're doing most of the time. No one tells you how much you'll regret. You'll surprise yourself with how much you learn from each mistake. How important it is. How heavy it feels.

No one tells you

Teenagers are the most interesting humans.